Thursday, August 1, 2013

The PR Cry: Dear Client, Hear Me Out

Oh yee client from hell, Sticking out your head like no other,
Five minutes to five on a Friday is all you crave for,
To send me a brief with no head or tail like a centipede'
Shallow is the brief, like a millipede’s brain I can say.

While on many occasions I deliver on your brief,
All within the stipulated timelines,
You still mumble during the status meeting,
Always looking for a status quo on your brand positioning.

I have reminded you about my role which is not a call,
A consultant whom you pay dearly to offer counsel,
Not to hang banners around but to help you burn the rot in your brand.

When all is well, you stick to your lane seeing nothing but your glory,
Any glorification to your agency is via an informal phone call,
When we falter, you scream out on your keyboards.
Crafting emails longer than your usual briefs.

But then again, probably you pay us to make you shine,
On that you forget that on many occasions, we have more experience than you.
Dealing with brands that have bigger budgets than yours.

Not that we hate you Mr. /Mrs. Client,
 If only we could stick to the plans we prepare,
Plans that would leave your brand a winner, with no scene in the media.
Many a times you make us commit journalistic sins,
Like plugging your brand fifteen times on the press release,
All in the spirit of pushing for brand visibility.

Not forgetting those face me photos that you pose for,
As if in deep memory of the face-me matatus,
Dear Client who fears no tears, even if from the young PR Executives.
Even with our silence dear client, we will still offer counsel.
As long as your ego is massaged.

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